The Bible is God’s handbook for marriage. Many verses and passages offer instruction and even commands for husbands and wives. Colossians 3 is such a passage. Prayerfully consider God’s instruction provided through Paul.
Seek God first in your life (not your wife or your marriage) and deliberately set (focus/direct) your mind/thoughts on heavenly things (from His Word).1 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Put to death (kill) all forms of sensuality and inappropriate passion.
5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them.
Your tongue, and the words you speak, are powerful. You must also put away (kill) the use of your tongue for hurtful, selfish purposes. Stop arguing, putting others down, cursing and lying.
8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.
In place of #2 and #3 above – put on a heart like Christ’s heart. Only then can you love and forgive someone “as” He does. He will give you the patience, kindness and humility to consider your spouse as “better than yourself” and serve them as Jesus served his bride. 12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Above everything else you should do – put on (deliberately clothe yourself with) love. Not selfish, conditional love but unselfish, unconditional love like Christ’s. Give yourself away in service to your spouse. Follow Jesus’ example.
14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Let God’s peace, which lives in you through the Person of the Holy Spirit, rule and reign in your heart – and live every day with a thankful, appreciative heart.
15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
Devour God’s Word and allow Him to speak into your life daily. When you do, you will grasp how blessed you are to be His child and to have His power and love living in you. He will give you everything you need to enjoy a beautifully fulfilling marriage – one that will bring Him much glory.
16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.