An Acquired Skill

Playing the guitar is a very satisfying experience. Playing it well is a deeply rewarding gift. Is it a gift or an acquired skill…. or maybe both?

Either way, it satisfies something deep in your soul that only those who play instruments truly understand.

I remember well deciding that I needed to learn to play the guitar back in Jr. High School (middle school these days). My primary motivation was to be cool. Every girl in school was smitten with the Beatles, the Stones and the Beach Boys. We mortal, pre-pubescent, dweebs didn’t stand a chance…..unless…..hummm.

Yes, if I could play the guitar and sing I would stand a chance. So, I bought a Mel-Bay book of guitar chords that told me which finger to put where on the frets in order to make a chord. I was on my way to stardom…. or at least cooldom.

Little did I know at the time – but learning to play that thing was hard. My fingers got real sore and my chording hand got cramps. I had to press hard on some strings while, at the same time, not touch the other strings. Dang. This was going to take some work. Being cool takes work. What a sad revelation at age 14.

Years into my marriage (I’m sorry to admit) it also dawned on me (thank you God) that being a husband, a really good husband, is also hard – and takes work. It doesn’ t just happen.

I really wanted to play the guitar, and so I was willing to pay the price. Did I really want to be a fabulous husband? Was I willing to pay the price….and put in the work?

Each of us has to answer that one. It does not come easy. It doesn’t come naturally. Marriage is a gift. Being a fabulous husband is a learned, practiced, deliberately acquired skill. It runs counter to our natural default mode of  – “me”. Selfish  by nature, we must paddle against the current of personal pronouns (I, me, my, mine) and the “I deserve its” if we are ever going to get close to what God expects and what our wife deserves.

Question is – Are we even practicing? Are we being deliberate? Are we actively praying about how to do this better and listening to what He says to us? Are we willing to give up our time, our rights and our agendas to pursue our wife and become the best husband on the planet?

Let’s run this race to win, not to simply say we ran. Let’s take up the instrument of husbandship (is that a word?) and learn to play it well. It too will bless your soul like nothing else. God created it that way !

Striving to be the best,



Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

One thought on “An Acquired Skill

  1. Great post, Huz!

    As a fellow guitarist and student-teacher of husbandship, I agree 100%. We are not born knowing to be a good anything except maybe an eat-cry-pooper. Everything else takes practice and is most successful when practiced with excellent role models and/or mentors.

    I can attest to the amazing results of pursuing excellence in this area: my wife and I are both happier, and we are a stronger team on all fronts.

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