Conversation 101

Guest host, Jon, once again gives us a great practical idea for loving our wife:
This time he looks at engaging our wife in conversation.

When my wife tells me something, I sometimes fall into two undesirable camps.
The first is the “harrumph” response, which only requires that I acknowledge her statement by grunting a noise which can’t be spelled in the dictionary.
My Beautiful Wife: “I talked with my mom today.”
Caveman Husband: “mmmmhhhhhh.”

 

The second is the Toby Keith response, which he expresses in his country song, I Wanna Talk About Me. I respond to her by turning the conversation back to myself and voicing “what I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see.”
My Beautiful Wife: “I talked with my mom today.”
I’m Number One Husband: I talked with my mom, too. She said…”

 

Neither response lets her know how important she is to me and that I care about her. So now I’m trying to listen better, and I’m doing this by practicing a new discipline. When my wife opens the door to a conversation or expresses a thought, I offer feedback by asking two questions in a row.
My Beautiful Wife: “I talked with my mom today.”
Two Questions Husband: “How is she doing?”
My Beautiful Wife: “Good. She said that the Back Door Restaurant closed last week.”
Two Questions Husband: “What’s the Back Door Restaurant?”

 

When I ask questions first, I’m better engaged in the conversation and it lets my wife know that I’m paying attention to her. I keep the focus on her, which opens the door to her thoughts, and ultimately, her heart.
So husbands, why don’t you give it a try and ask two questions first? And then come back to this blog and let us know the results.
Jon