Dating My Husband

Another great article from my friend Ashley McIlwain. Share this with your wife, and then plan a special time together.


When we think about dating, what often comes to mind are two, young, single people searching for a spouse. We may think about movies and dinner or a fun outing full of laughter and flirting. Whatever it is that comes to mind, it’s usually not a married couple out and about.

That’s the problem.

We don’t think about dating our spouse. Maybe you’ve given it a quick thought but not a second thought. It seems rather silly and juvenile or even unnecessary. I mean, who dates their spouse … really?

I do.

My husband and I still date, and in fact, it’s way better than before we were married. Why? Because there’s no awkward moments or gaps in conversation. There’s no pressure to perform or be clever. There’s no pretense, no scrutiny, and no façade. There’s just two people who are committed, in love, and enjoying their journey together.

Just last week my husband planned a spectacular date night for the two of us. We went to a fabulous restaurant in Los Angeles by one of my husband’s favorite chefs, Rick Bayless. There we were enjoying a delicious dinner, savoring our surroundings, and enjoying the easy conversation we’ve come to appreciate in our relationship. Dinner was followed by a Broadway show that I’d been dying to see, Wicked. As we held hands in the theater looking at one another occasionally with excitement that the show was better than we had even hoped for, my heart gushed with love for my husband.

It was a spectacular night filled with laughter, pictures, and precious moments that we will remember for years to come. As we drove home, we discussed the wonderful evening we shared pointing out our favorite parts. The best part of it all was the giddiness and adoration I felt for this man next to me that continues to capture my love and affection day in and day out.

Dating my husband is the perfect combination of comfort and excitability. It’s where the old meets the new, the ripe meets the fresh. Friendship collides with romance, and something already beautiful once again blossoms. Dating my husband is one of my favorite things to do, and I highly recommend it.

I think many of us forget about dating when we get married though. We think it’s just for people trying to fall in love, but that’s where you are both right and wrong. You see, marital dating is falling in love over and over again but always with the same person. It’s fanning the flames of love you’ve already discovered, no matter how long ago.

Embrace The Challenge

It’s not always easy remembering the necessity for dating in marriage, and staying creative in your planning can definitely be a challenge. You now have the advantage though of knowing what’s significant to your spouse more intimately than ever before. You’ve got the inside scoop, so use that knowledge to help and guide you.

If you are at all like me, there’s something both intriguing and invigorating about a challenge. It’s this puzzle that you’ve just got to figure out, so you tackle it with vigor. I would encourage you to approach marital dating in this way … with excitement at the mystery and opportunity that lies ahead of you. Challenge yourself to be creative, and tackle it with the mentality that it’s a fun mission to make the most of you marriage.

Put Your Heart Into It

Dating your spouse can’t be done begrudgingly, or you are defeating the purpose. When have you ever enjoyed when someone did something for you with a chip on their shoulder? Never. So, don’t undermine the objective of marital dating by having a bad attitude. Getting to spend quality time with your spouse doing something fun is an honor and privilege. And quite honestly, if you don’t want to spend some one-on-one time with your spouse, I’m concerned why you even got married to begin with.

Typically we get married to someone that we love and enjoy being around. Planning a night out is something for you to look forward to, so when you make your plans, put your heart into it. Remember that the objective is to create an opportunity to relish the friendship and love of the person you committed your life to. It’s a chance to convey your affection and bless your spouse. That should be motivation enough to organize a special, heartfelt evening for two.

Have Some Fun

Marital dating isn’t supposed to be stressful or painful. It’s a unique and wonderful time of maintaining and growing the friendship, relationship, and commitment between you and your spouse. This is something to approach as fun and exciting.

Just thinking about dating my hubs makes me giddy. I know when we put something on the calendar it’s going to be a memorable time of laughter and fun. You see, marital dating is the best kind of dating. It’s the pleasurable kind that is always worth your time, money, and energy because this person is the real deal. There’s no such thing as a poor investment in dating your spouse. Taking your spouse out for quality time together always yields an abundant reward.

Just like dating was important in winning the heart of your spouse before you got married, it’s important in keeping their heart after you get married. It’s a chance to cultivate the friendship, love, and intimacy that you’ve already established. It’s reaping the rewards of the choice you made to marry your spouse. Don’t miss out on the wonderful opportunity to date your sweetheart because it’s the best kind of dating there is.


(c)Foundation Restoration. This article was reprinted with permission. The original article can be viewed here.”

Dating My Husband –

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