Does he still love me? Am I still the love of his life?
As men, we are completely baffled by such nonsense. How could she think such a thing? I told her I loved her last Valentine’s day. Why I even took her out to dinner and a movie a couple of weeks ago and it wasn’t even her birthday or our anniversary. What’s the deal?
She might actually know you love her, but she needs to be regularly reassured. Many times when your wife points out that you’ve been spending alot of time away from her lately, or thinks you are upset with her – what she is really searching for is – “do you still love me?” When she gets upset because you need some “guy time” with your friends – she may be needing additional reassurance that you still love her, and that you think your relationship is going great.
It doesn’t matter if she knows mentally that you love her. If she doesn’t feel loved, it is the same as if she isn’t loved.
Relationship expert and author, Shaunti Feldhahn, has some great advice for us guys when we see this happening:
– Regular reassurance is a highly effective way to show your love to your wife.
– During conflict, reassure her of your love and that you are in this relationship to stay.
– When you need your “cave time”, let her know that she’s not the problem.
And realize that when she’s upset, she doesn’t want space – she needs a hug.
In I Peter 3, we are told to “live with our wives in an understanding way“. One of the best ways to do that is to understand her need for regular, sincere reassurance of your love for her. Words are great, but she also needs to “see” your love by the way you treat her and prefer her.
This week, ask God to show you creative ways to reassure your wife of your love.