Improving Intimacy in Marriage – Part 3


Colossians 4:2 – Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving; Romans 12:12 – rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer
Have you ever tried to make toast without plugging the toaster into the wall socket? Ever used a chain saw without ever starting it up? Power tools and appliances are designed to be used best when empowered from the appropriate power source. The same is true for us. Life functions about as well as an unplugged toaster if we don’t ever access our source of power and strength.

Prayer is our divine power cord to God. By accessing Him in conversation, we instantly tap into His unlimited sources of wisdom, patience, peace, love and power. He is the source of everything we need in this life. This is why scripture encourages us over and over to pray. In these verses we are exhorted to devote ourselves to prayer. There is a huge difference in occasional, when we get in trouble, prayer and being devoted/committed/dedicated to prayer.

Prayer is a conversation with God. It is a dialogue, not a monologue. God desires to speak with us too. He actually wants to commune with us more than we want to commune with Him. He is always present, and always listening. He always hears and always cares. He is never unable to hear or answer our prayer. He may not answer it the way we would like (He may say “no”, or “not now”, or “not your way but mine” ) – but He always answers.

I Thessalonians 5 encourages us to “pray without ceasing”. This would not be part of scripture if God was not listening “without ceasing” too. As a husband, you will make huge strides in your relationship with your wife if you will do two things that are so simple, but amazingly hard to do:

1. Spend large amounts of time in personal prayer/communion with God

2. Pray with your wife on a consistent basis

In order to have time to do either (much less both) of the above, we have to sacrifice time spent doing something else. That’s where things get difficult. We like our television programs, our sleep, our hobbies and our “to-do” list. We never seem to have enough time to do the things that count most. Truth is – we do have time. The honest answer is – we just don’t care or want it bad enough. Things are going okay right now, so I’ll just wait to pray until I have a crisis. We will find time to do the things we really want to do, the things we find most valuable.

“Prayerlessness is an insult to God. Every prayerless day is a statement by a helpless individual, ‘I do not need God today.”
— Ben Jennings

One of the fastest ways to experience significant growth as a Christian is to spend more time in prayer with God. One of the fastest ways to experience greater and oneness and intimacy with our wife is to spend time praying with her. In prayer she hears our heart and feels more emotionally and spiritually connected to us. She will experience our leadership and our vulnerability in prayer more than any other place.

Don’t miss out on what God has in store for your marriage by not taking time to pray with your wife (mealtime prayers don’t count).

Intimacy in marriage comes from being 1) devoted to our wife, 2) deliberate in our walk with Christ and in our role as a husband, and 3) devoted to prayer – personal and together with our wife.

Consistent prayer flows from a desperate heart. Until we fully realize that we are desperate without God’s daily wisdom, strength, hope and leadership, we will never see the need to become devoted to prayer. Prayer moves the heart of God, and it stirs the heart of our wife – like nothing else we can do, say or buy. This one thing will produce more significant change in us and in our marriage than all the books, cd’s, seminars and classes combined.

Intimacy with God and with our wife is a “prize” worth working hard for, worth dying for.