There’s nothing more fun that finding that “perfect gift” for your wife for Christmas, or anniversary or birthday. The response we are hoping for – “I can’t believe you did that”, “You’re the best husband in the whole world”, “Oh honey, you’re so sweet”, or “It’s perfect, I love it!” – is sometimes not the response we hear….. but, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Actually, that IS the point. Most husbands put much more thought, time, effort and attention into shopping for a new shotgun for themselves, or getting the camp ready for hunting season, or getting the perfect putter for this year’s golf outings – than we do hunting for a special gift, a token of our love, affection and appreciation for the one who is supposed to be the most important person in our life.
Finding a great gift is a byproduct of paying attention, or knowing, of becoming a student of our wife. What does she really like? What colors look best on her? What size is she wearing these days? What does she really need, or secretly wish she had?
The answers to these kinds of questions only come by spending time together, by observing, by asking. They require time. The require more time than finding a golf club, or even preparing the duck/deer camp for the season. Our time and attention signify to her that she has value – and the more of it we give her, the more valuable she feels.
You see, the the one gift she desires most…. is you. What she really wants, in her heart of hearts, is your presence, your time, and your attention. It’s not enough to be in the room but hypnotized by college football, or answering emails on your laptop. She would love to have your undistracted presence. Emotional presence is different that physical presence.
God commands us to live with our wife “in an understanding way”. How can we understand if we never engage, and how can we engage if we never set aside meaningful time to do so? Let’s put our agendas and selfish ways aside this coming year and regularly schedule face time with our wife. Let’s be deliberate about loving her by giving her a very precious gift – ourselves.
And while we’re at it – take time to think about and even pray about a special gift this Christmas that shouts “I love you”, “I care”, “I notice and appreciate you”…. I’m going to share what I got my wife, so hold me accountable too…