It is springtime. Even though many of us would disagree due to the colder-than-normal weather of late – it is technically Spring. My lawn is beginning to turn green, the flowers are blooming, the tree and grass pollen is covering my car, my deck, and the inside of my nose. The pharmacist, the allergist, the lawn care professional – will all confirm. Yes, it’s Spring.
Having a rare Saturday without a pre-set agenda, I finally took the time to visit the local hardware store and bring home a large container of weed killer – the kind with the battery-powered spray nozzle. It was high time I (the head of the household, and keeper of the lawn) I tackle the Vietnamish growth overtaking my backyard.
After a brief assembly, I was ready to torch the evil invaders. Positioning myself upwind, so as to not torch myself in the process, I began spraying. “Take that”, I quietly taunted the prickly growth. I actually felt a little guilty that I was receiving so much joy inialating my enemies. The only thing that might have made it more enjoyable was if I had been wearing an actual flame-thrower and literally torching my backyard – watching them go up in flames. Well, in my own way, I was Rambo, and was a one-man napalm strike.
As I was coating the little menaces with toxic waste, I couldn’t help but ask myself – “How did my backyard get this way?”, “How did it get so bad, so fast?” My discussion with myself led me to the obvious conclusion – “I should have taken care of this sooner”. I really had no one to blame but me. I knew the weeds would grow. I knew I could buy the spray and take care of them earlier – but I didn’t. Whatever the reason, whatever the excuse – it was my responsibility to care for the yard – and I let it go too long. So now, I am faced with flowerbeds full of sticky, messy, tangled weeds – and rock walkways overgrown with moss and more weeds.
If only I would have taken the time to tackle the nuisance when it first began, this would have been a much easier, faster job. I could have used a small, squeeze bottle of weed killer for those few weeds that spring up during this season instead of the heavy, cumbersome contraption necessary to knock out the jungle.
Then it dawned on me that I was experiencing a marriage illustration firsthand. How many couples look up one day and notice the infestation of “weeds” in their relationship? Most would have to acknowledge they had seen some “weeds” along the way, but they are shocked to find such an infestation. “How did we get this way?” “How did it get so bad?” The similarities are striking. Neglect has allowed “weeds” to flourish in our relationship, just like it will allow your yard to become overrun in what seems to be a short period of time.
The answer to “what do we do about it?” is also the same. Someone (the husband) needs to take responsibility for the “yard”, and initiate a plan. The “weeds” must be dealt with, one spray at a time, and some will take more spray and more time to go away. Some will come back and will need to be addressed again and again until they finally die.
If “weeds” have sprung up in your marriage, or have begun to overtake it, it is time to take action. Get the help you need to address them; then address them. Napalm them with God’s powerful truth, with His wisdom, with His grace. He is the great Restorer of people and relationships. Nothing is too difficult for Him. Nothing. He knows exactly what to do for every single “weed”, and has the desire and the power to deal with it….but we have to allow Him.
Guys, we are the head of our family according to God’s Word. It is our divine responsibility to keep an eye on our “yard” (marriage) and to deal swiftly with any invaders that would try to overtake it. We are the watchmen on the wall of our homes. Our wives and children are counting on us. Deal with the weeds you already have – get help if you need to – and then decide to not let them grow back. Watch for any sign of weeds in your relationship, and deal with them early, before they have a chance to grow into real problems.
A little regular maintenance now will keep us form having huge issues later.
Keep the sprayer handy,