Holidays are a great time to gain major yardage in your marriage oneness, or to get sacked for a major loss.
Days off work. Lots of goodies sittin’ around. Great meals and yummy leftovers. Ahhhhhh. Time to kick back, relax, wear comfy clothes, skip shaving – this is the life!
Honey, would you bring us some more chips, and Oh, I need some more Dr. Pepper.
She might actually bring you everything you need for fun and relaxation while you’re watching football – all day – or she may yell back – “get it yourself”! Either way, she feels like you get to have all the fun while she is stuck in the kitchen cleaning up the mega-mess from Thanksgiving. Then it repeats itself on Friday, Saturday and for some of you – even Sunday. This is prime chillin’ out time.
My wife loves to serve. She loves to make her family and friends happy by cooking delicious food, snacks and desserts – and especially over the Holidays. She would never complain if we sat enthralled in the games and asked for refills. But, the truth be told, what she would rather do is BE WITH her family in the den. But she is trapped in the kitchen cleaning up everyone’s mess. She doesn’t feel valued, and honestly feels like we love her for what she DOES for us instead of WHO she is as a woman and friend.
SO – here’s a new play for this year’s big weekend.
After each meal, you and the kids clear the table, take the dishes to the sink, clean them off and put the in the dishwasher. Put stuff back in the fridge. Help her do whatever it takes to get her out of the kitchen as quickly as possible.
When she wakens from her fainting spell, lovingly answer her question (what are you doing, or why are you doing this) by saying these words (key to remember) – “I want you to be with us in the den and not stuck here in the kitchen”.
What if she says “get out of here, I can do it myself”, or “thanks anyway” ? Insist on helping do something anyway – and say the words – I just want to do what I can to get you out of the kitchen so you can be with us (or “me”) in the other room.
Don’t be a turkey. This is a wonderful opportunity to SHOW love to your wife, to serve her and to let her know how valuable she is to you. No matter if your favorite team wins or not – you will.
Bring on the feast,